Ambition, Exhibition and Personal Training

Well I guess it's time for me to start journalizing this next step. I am a bag of mixed emotions but the one that I have full control over is fear. I am fully aware what I am afraid of... it is the unknown!.. LOL  Frankly there is nothing wrong with a little bit of fear. I am going to embrace each and every step of this process. It may be the one and only time I ever do this and I am good with that (for now). I am 2 weeks in with my personal trainer and he makes me sore because he works me like an Alaskan Husky running the Iditarod (and fully aware it is going to get much more intense!). He also makes me cuss a little.. ok a lot, but it is not directed at him. He doesn't yell but I am expecting it one day. Almost wanting him to, to get me to get angry. That's pretty sick eh?.. LOL

This is such a personal journey for me for a few different reasons..
1. I know I am mentally strong enough to do this. I have come so far AND overcome so many obstacles.. let's see how far I can be pushed now
2. I am physically capable of anything I put my mind to
3. I have never seen myself that fit before EVER. Maybe selfish but I want to be my husbands arm candy for ONCE in my life and feel inside like I am from the moment I slip my heels on.
4. I want my boys to be proud of me for starting something and finishing it. To show them that if they put their mind to something they can accomplish ANYTHING
5. Frankly I WANT to wear clear heels.. LOL (as my son calls them.. glass slippers)

These next 11 weeks are going to be insane! But not nearly as insane as doing cart wheels on the side of the I90 in New York on my way home from Florida 2 weeks ago. I swear I am not kidding!

I would also like to address one more thing here. I made a HUGE Financial obligation and personal commitment. I have also placed a WHOLE bunch of faith and trust in a total stranger. His name is Luke Curry. He is the man that makes me grunt, groan and sweat like a man in public. He is focused on me for 1 hour 3 times a week. He came highly recommended by my certain special someone (Sam). She understands that I have some trust issues and she felt confident enough in his abilities to place me in his hands for this transformation. I am comfortable with him. He took the time to get to know me and listen openly as to who I am. Also, He is just as excited as I am about this. The fact that we share the common goal of getting me on that stage in October in the best shape I can be is wonderful.

So here I sit a little bit sore with a belly full of healthy foods counting down to the next time I get to eat. So with peanut butter and egg white dreams I will be heading to the gym for my 2nd cardio of the day to earn each bite.

ps... I am down 5lbs already and I don't care if it is water weight or not... I am happy to see the numbers on the scale move in the right direction.

I was Road Trippin’ in the USA

Bags were getting packed, children were excited and the dogs were wondering what the heck is going on. Well let me tell you.. It’s VACATION TIME.  For anyone trying to stay on track with any kind of diet or eating right plan, like ME, long road trips or vacation of ANY kind can be a killer unless you are prepared before you leave. My game plan was the same as every year. Healthy snacks are first and foremost for all of us with one bag of pretzel mix as the only junk food allowed. So off to Dutchies Food Market I went for Fresh fruits and vegetables at a ridiculous cheap price.

This is how I snack when I travel. It truly is my life saver. Also when you travel sometimes your body gets bound up so all the vegetables keep you regular too. Let’s face it, it’s life and we all poop. Hot breakfast is always a stop for us. We need the fuel in our bodies to keep going and to start the day off right. We pulled in to the parking lot in Hackers Creek, West Virginia to see the drive thru line up of about 20 cars for the McDonalds and not a 1 by the subway. We LOVE subway breakfast!!! Why don't they?  

Foot long with Eggs whites, lots of vegetables ( yes I added baby spinach ) and a whole wheat bun is 2 meals right there for a whopping $5.00. I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!?!  If the choice is there I am making this one every time.

Next problem for me used to be staying awake and requiring lots and LOTS of really big coffee. This year, not so much. Day 1 was 1 medium coffee and day 2 was the same but I never even finished it and Spark ended up drinking it. So for a gal that used to drink an extra large coffee and then go the sleep right after I was done I think that is a HUGE step in my progress

I own a time share week here and this is a great advantage for vacationing. I have access to a full kitchen and I am responsible for all the meals that I make. I know exactly what I am eating and how it is prepared. There is NO guessing game for me. I do my own shopping and I can choose my meals according to what my plans are for the week. I can also plan ahead to make sure that I am not eating the fast food crap. Although I did find that truck stops and convenience stores are making better choices in what they are offering. This is what they are offering at the Sheetz in Virginia. 

 This made me smile that I had a choice for something as simple as a yogurt or for an apple instead of chips and a chocolate bar.

Moral of the story is the age old Boy Scout oath.. Be Prepared!

Laughter say WHAT?!?!?!

I just want to keep my blog today short and sweet. Everyday I am given a reason to laugh. If you have ever had the pleasure of meeting my 17 yr old, you would understand.

There are couple of sayings that are recently popping up all over the place. They go a little like this..

Are your friends making you fat?
Is your spouse making you fat?
Is stress making you fat?
Is eating too much / too little making you fat?

Well how about this one for a change of pace...

Is where you work keeping you heart healthy, happy and fit?

Where I work YES! Laughter truly is the best medicine and I do a LOT of that at my job. Over nothing in particular just because we can. Sometimes also because we do something totally ridiculous to ourselves and not on purpose but it just happens. This is what I recently found..

Laughter is good for your health

• Laughter relaxes the whole body.... A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
• Laughter boosts the immune system.... Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
• Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
• Laughter protects the heart.... Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems.

This is January and frankly it is not the greatest weather outside. One day rain the next snow and on and on. If by chance you need other ways to help you get though the long winter months at a boring job or in a place where you can't break out in a random silly dance ( I can do that at my work.. LOL )and you are unable to get away on a warm tropical vacation ... Please take a moment and read Sandra's recent blog on beating the winter blues.

So with that said... instead of doing something that scares you everyday try doing something that will make you laugh till you pee your pants! ( Also you get a really good ab workout if it is done right )

Ready or not... Here I come!!!

I have mentioned a few times before that I have Big BIG plans ahead for me for 2012. Well now it's time to let you know what's going on. I want to compete. October 2012 in Kitchener. http://www.physiqueassociation.ca/opaschedules To walk the stage in clear heels, spray tan and a really awesome bikini with my favourite person, Sandra Compton, right beside me the whole way. I am fully prepared to be judged by society, family and friends and frankly I say "BRING IT" because there is NOTHING that is going to stop me from doing this. I decided I wanted to do this June last year when I saw the Oxygen model search at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. I have enormous support already from the few people that know and I am ready mentally for this challenge. This is more than just a Bikini show off.. These competetitors are athletes beyond anything that you can imagine. The time and dedication and the mental focus that is required is beyond anything you can ever imagine. So please educate yourself before any judgemet is passed.... And to that I say WATCH ME FLY!!!!

Now, it is Jan 12, 2012 and as I sit here on my couch typing this out I have sooooo many things that I want to say. First and foremost BeautyFit Boot Camp has started a new session and my excitement is disgustingly overwhelming. I am back in my routine of normality and it feels sooooo good!! It was an extremely emotional night for us Beauties. Day 2 and tears are falling not out of pain but out of diving inside ourselves. Publicly displaying our weakness'. Openly letting each and everyone of us there know what we have already accomplished and what we yet want to. No judgement, just open hearts and overwhelming support. For me it was extremely emotional. This camp is my 1yr anniversary camp. 1 year ago I walked in a meek girl in a fat beat down body with zero self esteem and no direction in my life (So you can imagine what a blubbering fool I must have looked like tonight) I didn't even know how to skip rope.. LOL..let alone know how to spend the next 6 weeks, 1 hour at a time finding myself. 1 year later I am not that meek girl. I am a strong! Confident! Determined! Beautiful! Sexy! Down right freakin AWESOME WOMAN! I may still have some squishy on me but it is ALL me. I am proud of ME. I am proud of each and every woman that walks through that door 2 times a week each camp and says... I can do this. I have said it before in my blogs and I will reiterate it for the ones that are just now jumping in.... I leave it on the floor. Leave the bad day at home or work, the anger and frustration from words said to me or by me, the helpless feeling of things I can not change but are forced to deal with. I leave them on the floor in a puddle of sweat and tears. I am not alone in this. We ALL will go through it at one point or another in the next 6 weeks. And damn will it feel fantastic to release ( wait till kick boxing starts and that heavy bag is your Biotch.. LOL )

I'm going to end this by saying this... Don't let anyone stand in your way of what you want to accomplish. The biggest one being yourself. Fight for it. Dig deep down and yell at the top of your lungs I AM WORTH IT! Sandra said it tonight and she has every camp before.... We all have our own stories. We are the author of our mortal lives so write the best life you can live and surround yourself with people that HONESTLY support you and love you during your journey to a better you.

So ready or not World.... HERE I COME!! I have come a LONG LONG WAY and I am INVINCIBLE!!

NO EXCUSES

I want to tell you a little story about a woman that in my mind is incredible. She made me angry when I was listening to her. Not because of her personal story but because reflection of all the status updates I read about how someone can't because they are sore or they have a medical condition that supposedly restricts them from doing activity. How they spew garbage about how they are "going to make changes" to get reaction from their FB friends. It is a bunch of crap and it needs to stop.... here is why!

This woman had a stroke while driving her car. She did such severe damage to her body that she will never be able to live a "normal" life again. That normal life that we get to wake up to everyday. Where we can put our own shoes on and run out the door in an instant, go to work yet complain that we are tired and our feet hurt from standing for a few hours, Get a migraine and let EVERYONE know that once again you got a ticket for the sympathy train and you need a hug. Seriously the list goes ON and ON!! Her normal life consists of huge doses of pain medication taken before she can even get out of bed, Her husband helping her get dressed because meds haven't numbed the pain enough for her to do it on her own. And only being able to wear slip on shoes because when she bends over to tie them she loses her balance and will pass out.

Ask me where I met her. Go Ahead! Ask me... Forget it I will tell you. She was at the gym on the treadmill walking. Walking and smiling and singing to herself to the music in her ears. When I saw her in the change room conversation ensued. I wanted to know her story and she was so happy to share it with me. She told me that she wakes up everyday knowing that she is lucky to be alive. Happy to be alive and won't let one minute pass where she doesn't appreciate the new lease on life that she got. She said she has nothing to complain about because nothing could be worse that what she went through already.

.... yep I cried when I got to my car. I cried for her. I cried for me. I cried for every person out there that wants to get up and move and can't because they physically are unable. And then I got angry for the people that are able to move freely that are pissing their life away complaining and making empty promises to themselves and to everyone else.

I am so glad that I met her. She is amazing beyond my years.

Take it for what you want but this was my morning.... Get up and move!!! Stop complaining, suck it up and MOVE!!!

Reflection Pool

As 2011 was coming to a final close I took the time during my last cardio session of the year to reflect on everything I had accomplished. I realized that I had come to terms with things that were making it even more difficult from getting to that final goal. And I also decided that what I want is far more important than dwelling on the things that I can not change. So a brief synopsis will follow in this, my last blog of the year.

I woke up this morning Dec 31st, after only a few hours sleep and met with Sandra. While there I also had the great pleasure of spending some quality conversation time with Jimmy Mentis. If you have never met this man you are truly missing out. He is a Plethera of USEFUL knowledge and a really funny man too. These 2 together are like a tag team in my life that know what and when to say things that I need to hear. They have both been vocal in different ways to me over this year. Jimmy is more the strong silent type but when he speaks I highly suggest you listen!! Sandra carries a bullhorn.... just sayin' :)  I am grateful for everything that they have done for me and that they have opened my eyes to experience this year. I do not ever take for granted the opportunities that have been given and blogging for BeautyFit is definately one of them.

I have an album full of pictures on my facebook profile entitled 2011... All about me 

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150374902765252.614176.902505251&type=1&l=0cb81ee8db  This is not all of them either. I have a full album on my Blackberry too of ones that I haven't posted. But it is an idea of how things went through the year for me.

 

So what have I accomplished you ask? I have posted most of them through out my blogs but here is the short list...

 

1. Stepping out of my comfort zone and starting BeautyFit BootCamp, completing every session till the end of the year and introducing many of my friends and family to why I love it so much. Opening their eyes to something new and awesome!

2. Quitting smoking after 23 years

3. Warrior Dash !!!! 5km of mud and obstacles and running with my mentor and trainer encouraging me the whole way with my husband supporting us and waiting for us with open arms and a big smile at the finish line for us.

4. Not taking the easy way out walking the flat path and deciding to hike up the side of the mountain and loving every minute of it.

5. 5km Run for the Cure in October with the BeautyFit Beauties.

6. Found my happy place in my job by changing it and finding peace, joy and laughter in every shift

7. Realizing that there are so many things out there that I want to do and my "Happy List" keeps growing and growing.. ( Read my next blog for what I will be striking off that list for 2012 )

8. Embracing change and allowing myself to welcome new and different

..... The list is long and plenty I could again go on for EVER!!.. LOL

 

I also want to put in here a few things that I emotionally struggled with. I am only human and we all have things that happen in our lives that throw us off our game.

 

My grandmother had an aeortal dissection in May and eventually passed from complications a few months later. My sister, her husband and my nephews moved to Ft. Mac Alberta. It is very far away and I miss them very much. Thank goodness for technology. On my wedding anniversary I was diagnosed with a blood clot in my head. I have spent months since then on blood thinning injections and pills and medication to subdue and supress the pains in my head. These have made it so that I could not reach that final goal I wanted this year but ... I'm over it ( as my son always says ). 

 

I do not have ANY regrets this year. I have overcome so much and I am ready to embrace the next year and the challenges that will come. I am ready for Bootcamp to start Jan 10th. It will be nice to be back into a routine and to also have the Beauties there to push me and vice versa. I have big plans for 2012.. BIG BIG PLANS!!!

 

So I leave you with this.... As we say goodbye to 2011 go forward into 2012 with this thought .... Your internal conversations determine the outcome of your mood desire and drive..... Happy New Year!!!

 

Achieving Greatness

Ok so the old saying goes if it ain't broke don't fix it which would therefore mean Ignorance is bliss. Right? Well no! Not really. It just means that some people love to make the excuses to justify those 2 statements. The year is almost over and I have learned so many things in the last 347 days. Not only about myself but about the people that I surrounded myself with then and whom I choose to now. So before I head in to 2012 with my new journey I would just like to share some of my old thoughts that are now modified with the new ones. Grab a pen and paper and do your own list. I bet you have more than you thought.

Old vs. New

1. I can just eat till the pain goes away
>>> Food will never take away the pain. There is always a deeper reason as to why I turned to the Doritos.

2. They are my family and my friends. They will always tell me the truth
>>> Truth is they were the ones that lied to me first by skirting around the subject so as to not "hurt my feelings". Take everything at face value and process it clearly to decide how to proceed. I choose who I want in my life. I will define me, they will not. They will not hold me back from where I want to go.

3. Change scared the crap out of me!!
>>> Bring it on! I am ready for new changes in my life. I know that when I put my mind to it I can accomplish anything in front of me. Remember the Warrior Dash in June?? Ya.. scared the crap out of me.

4. Going because we were invited to events was almost an obligation out of guilt
>>> I would rather not be invited at all to something than to be invited as a last pick. I am NO ONES second choice.

5. I can't because I am not able.
>>> I can because I am willing. I can because I want to. I can because I say so and I'm gonna prove you wrong. ( ps it has been 6 months and 2 days that I have quit smoking. So to those people that didn't think I could do it I say.. and WHAT?!?!?! )

6. Change rooms are just public cublicles to cry in when you have to try on clothes.
>>> Stepped out of my comfort zone and wore form fitted dresses with not a care in the world. Bring the one woman in your life that you trust and respect the most for her honesty. Grab coffee and have fun trying stuff on.

7. Some of my closest friends walked away. What did I do?
>>> I decided to change my life direction which changed my physical appearance. I no longer fit in to the mold that they wanted for me. Sad yes, but I have learned it is reality and there is no going back.

8. I have a gym membership.
>>> I am a member of a group of people dedicated to changing their lives and achieving greatness in it. I am noticed because I actually feel like I belong and am welcomed in with open arms. I am achieving greatness in my life which I am passing on to my children, new friends and to people that I have not yet met.


I really could on and on with this list but you get the idea. It was all about first changing my thought process, taking a leap of faith and putting my complete faith in one person to lead me to where she knew I could be. I have battled many obstacles this year with my health but at no point did I say I quit or I give up. What I did do is keep on going and found a new way to achieve my goals. It may have taken me a little bit longer to do it but I did it.

2012 is just 16 days away and that brings a whole new chapter in my life. I am so very excited to fill you in when the time comes. I have enough confidence in myself to say that I AM going to do it.....Not IF but WHEN.

So be ready to join me next year and follow along with my journey....!! With visions of clear heels dancing in my head I say Happy Dreamtime and to all a good night. ( I never said I was a great poet.. LOL )