I have had a few weeks now of training. For me I start wrapping my head around what I am about to endure as I am tying up my laces in the change room. It is a slow and methodical process. Making sure I am fully prepared for the next hour. Nothing could have prepared me for last weeks Leg or Chest and Tricep session. Post leg session I spent 25 minutes in the washroom praying that the vomit and the spinning and the cold sweats would stop. Post Chest and tri session my arm clearly was NOT functioning as my mind was willing it to when I wanted the door open. It gave out at the very moment it needed to and I walked face first into the door. But WAIT! I didn't end it there. I went to a BeautyFit drop camp Saturday Morning. It was great to change things up and focus on my conditioning. THEN Sunday came! We had a conversation just the day prior about how I was not having my migraines as I had been before and that my head was feeling great. So, here is how the conversation went between Sandra and I...
Me, (at 1:45pm) " Good Morning!... I've been in bed all day with an ice pack on my head (pretty sure we spoke too soon) I literally hurt from the tip of the last hair on my head to my nail polish! My ass, quads, sides of each of those parts and my calves are pulsating. I think my hamstrings fell off during round 5 of the frog jumps yesterday morning.
Sandra, " Oh.. That's all..." "That's a great status"
Me, " No there's more but my fingers are numb from the lack of circulation coming from the intense chest and tricep session I had on Friday so I had to cut it short"
Sandra, "You're lucky we didn't do tris then"
I laughed a ridiculous amount over this. She understands what I am going through and that was the support I needed at that moment. Almost like, It's ok Amanda.. I get it! You hurt! But it could always be worse... and now I am giggling at you.. LOL
I would like to say that my internal conversations are much different but sadly they are not. This is how I keep myself amused at the fact that I hurt like holy hannah. My body is changing and I can see it now. I am being tested as to what I can handle or what I THINK I can handle and then Luke adds more. He knows I have more push in me. I do my best and I put forth all I have each and every time. I didn't come to play around. There was a guy there today that said to me that it would be a lot easier if I didn't have weight on the bar during squats... I gave an amusing response but wanted to say something totally different. And again I didn't come there to look pretty. I am gross and sweaty and you can wring out my under clothes at the end.
I do not EVER walk out of there questioning myself saying, " Did I do my very best today?" No I don't, and today I got that little bit of outside validation, aside from my PT, that I AM doing this and that I AM doing GREAT! My fellow Beauty Sheryl was there today and she looked right in my eyes and said you did a great job today. My squats were heavier, he put me on an awful hack squat contraption ( Thank goodness I didn't crap my pants cuz it was very possible it could have happened ) and then 1 leg pendulum presses. Holy S*&@ Balls, my quads were like concrete today. The walk down the stairs was a bit frightening for me. This was option #1. I did however ask for a piggy back ride during lunges but since he did legs the day before he was a little sore. Option #2 was to just fall down the stairs and pray that someone would come to our rescue.. I chose Option #1. Mostly because I knew I would still need to show on Monday ready to give it all and bruises or not training was going to happen.
As I keep going through this I will still mudder under my breath and to myself as my own personal motivation.. You GOT THIS!! COME ON! This is NOTHING! DO IT! GO!
The conversations you have with yourself are your best motivation. You can achieve more success with daily affirmations then you can without. I see in my mirror YOU ARE INVINCIBLE (as well as some boy toothpaste spit at the bottom)....... What do you see in yours?
