Fear Factor.. More than just a TV show

I sit here at my kitchen table still in my sweaty gym clothes as I am typing this out. Tonight many things are running through my mind. One of them is, Where has this year gone??? I have had lots of things going on so I guess I just was oblivious to the date. Today for me has been a time of retrospect over the year. I have become so numb to how others make ME feel through this whole process, but what I did think over the last few days was .. How do I make THEM feel? I said when I started all this that I would not back down. I will not fail! I refuse to allow myself to fail! And it was brought to my attention a long time ago that I have put myself out here to all of you and that alone is confidence enough right?!?! No one wants to fail to people they know or don't know in the end.

So why am I talking about failure? Because it is reality! We all have thoughts that we are going to at some point. Mine is right now. Maybe because it is fear that the end of the year is only 47 days away and that is the end of my year. I am scared. I'm not gonna lie. I am scared of making it to the end of all of this and not hitting the goal I wanted. I am scared of failing people that have put so much faith and trust in me. That have given me an opportunity of a lifetime here. I am scared of failing me.

Let me be very clear though about this... I still have 46 days and 20 minutes left to prove that I can complete something. Left to prove that no matter what emotional struggle I am dealing with I can make it through. To prove that tears are just sweaty eyes. To not only prove to myself but to everyone around me that says that they believe in me that I am worth their faith.

I told you in the very beginning that I am just a normal everyday woman here. I cry like all of you and I laugh no one!! I know for a fact that some of you have had self doubt moments in the last 6 months because I have received emails about it. So I just wanted to share mine.....

46 days 11 minutes... This is more than just a blog about my year... THIS is my LIFE!!!

Growing Pains

I am 37 and I am still getting them but in a WHOLE different way. This time I am growing stronger mentally and physically and yes sometimes it is pretty painful. But in a good way.. LOL...

Alt Laterals with Dumbbells.. Ya they hurt

My wonderful 17 yr old son also trains like a champ and he pushes me just like Sandra does. He tells me to shut up and do it. He tells me YES YOU CAN Mom. He will not let me quit, even as much as I want to when I think that the bar is going to fall on my face and smash me in to little pieces. Having a teenager and trying to find things to do together that you both enjoy can be tricky. I found what works and it is the gym. He high 5's me when I complete something and is proud to call me mom. ( and he even ... AND What's me when appropriate ). We are both learning, growing, laughing and crying in pain together. But to be honest there really is nothing better than having someone spot you that understands what you are going through. What you are feeling and just exactly how much you want to punch them in the throat if they tell you.. one more!

My SONshine... we are growing together

 

 

I really didn't have any pivotal or major thought provoking moments in the last week. But what I did have is a special "MOM" moment. In all of this life change I am still a mom. I am still a friend. I am still a wife. It doesn't matter how much weight or how many inches I lose because in the end I am still me. I am the one that ugly cries when I am sick, frustrated, tired or sad. I am also the one that will hold your hand when you need it, Laugh and cry with you and also support you in your journey.

We all have growing pains. Have you found out what yours are? Mine are meaningful moments that will forever make me who I am.

Legs are the Roots of your Tree!!

It's just a machine, right!? It looks scary but really it isn't. It is called a Smith machine. I use it for many different exercises. Squats, weighted lunges, weighted split jumps, calf raises (when the other machine is in use) and also for my flat bench press when I don't have anyone to spot me so I don't hurt myself. But I'm going to focus just on why this machine and using weights on my leg days are a benefit to me and you as we are trying to lose weight, tone up and keep our metabolism going through out the day. As a woman it is always scary when we hear anything about lifting weights. First thing out of our mouths usually are, " I do not want to be all muscle and bulky ". Truth of the matter is you won't be.

Here is a few of the Top reasons why you SHOULD pick up weights and use them..

• It increases your resting metabolic rate so you burn more calories, even while at rest.
• Makes you lean and slim--muscle takes up less space than fat so, the more you have, the slimmer you are
• Strengthens bones and connective tissue, which can protect your body from injuries in daily life
• Enhances balance and stability
• Builds confidence and self-esteem  

Now that we have your fears covered... let's talk about my legs. Only because they are fabulous and I take pride in the strength and the design of my legs. They are the trunks of my tree :) They hold me up so why not make them as strong as I can. Using the Smith machine helps me with my core balance. I have no fear of falling over or falling square on my butt when doing squats ( My routine is 4 x 12 reps ). It also helps me to correct my form and not compensate by doing it incorrectly. I can really feel the push in my muscles in my quads, hamstrings and even my glutes. And YES some days it really IS all about the ass .. LOL. If you are unsure if you are doing it correctly just ASK! Someone there either member or staff will always help you. Better to be safe than sorry.

Stiff leg dead lifts with a barbell are no joke. There may be no weight on that bar but it is not light as a feather. Keeping your chest proud, shoulders back and your back straight bend over as far as you can so that you feel the pull in the back your leg ( your hamstring ). My routine includes 4 sets x 10,12,15,12 reps (dropping weight when inclining reps)

 Calf raises are important in my leg training days. The muscle definition when I put a pair of heels on lets me know I am doing a good job. Next time you walk upstairs stop at each step and do 10 calf raises. With each step change the direction of your toes.. Feet straight, next step toes out (ballerina style), next step toes pointed pigeon toed. 

So tomorrow, before you do 30 min of climbing on the Stairmill, challenge yourself and do walking lunges with 20lb weights in each hand instead of 10lbs. The only thing you have to lose is fat so GO FOR IT!!








 

BeautyFit weekend of Black and Pink

Dress shopping didn't go nearly as well as I had expected purchase wise, but I had a blast. I had my trusty Sandra Compton by my side to lead me in to a direction that I had not really ever gone. Sure I had bought dresses in my time but not really something that accentuated the assets of a newly changed body in an appropriate 37yr old way ( yes I am 37 ). Off we went to Le Chateau. The walls were covered with beautiful shimmery dresses. I was in AWE!!! All I could think was dang there is no way I am ever going to fit in to any of these and feel comfortable. Oh boy was I wrong! She put me in this beautiful green and black dress that made me open my eyes to how awesome I looked. And yes I can say that cuz I did :) And then the shoes came.. Black Stiletto Jessica's. My body changed again and my bum went POP! Oh and so did my calves. One day those shoes will be coming home with me. Unfortunately, I seem to have chosen one of the most expensive dresses in the store. Lesson learned though? Yes... Don't be afraid to walk in and try something on just so you can finally see what really works for your body instead of what you have been settling on.

My theme of the night was to feel comfortable in what I was wearing so I ended up finding a cute little top and pulling out a pair of black dress pants that I haven't worn in a few years comfortably. This is what the final product was........................

We laughed, danced and had so much fun that night. It was an awesome time spending an evening with women whom you love unconditionally and respect. BeautyFit Beauties come in all shapes and sizes (which we change with hard work and dedication) but one things remains the same. We work hard and we play hard and we do it together.

Two days later we joined hands and hearts to Run for the Cure for Breast Cancer. It was downright cold that morning but we wrapped up layer upon layer to stay warm before the 5km started. Some beauties walked and some ran. I ran... Oh FOREST I RAN!! 5km in 33 min. no walking.. Just running. And I could not have done it without 2 beauties Tammy and Jax by my side. We started together and we crossed that finish line hand in hand. We don't leave a WOman behind EVER!

You can never go wrong when you have your gurlz with you.

These ladies amazed me beyond words.







Last weekend was full of fun but Monday came and that meant back to training. Weights will always be my nemesis but I know there is a good reason for using them. They make me mentally and physically stronger.. Stay tuned and I will tell you how. Until then, Find a good cause and donate your time. It doesn't have to be a charity. A good cause could be a friend in need that just needs your hand.

Never ending Support circle...

It's funny how usually I go to the gym with my head down most days and try not to look anyone in the eye. Last week has been totally different for me. I was there twice a day. I go for my morning Cardio and weights if I have time and then after everyone is settled at home for the night I go back for just cardio. I burn my 500 each time and then leave. There is an employee there that is on my facebook as my friend. He sees me and says, " Here for your Burn 500??" My answer is YES! Just the fact that he notices the little things like that makes me feel supported and that my hard work is being noticed.

So let's talk about that. Support and what exactly does that mean. To me it means a LOT!! Not only do I have it from my husband and children,  2 beauties that also blog on here (Jenna and Crystal.. go read there blogs too), my trainer Sandra Compton, Moe the front desk guy at the gym, My optician Riyaz who is there as much as me and more BUT!! I also have it from total strangers. I had a lady in the change room tell me that she read my blog simply from seeing BF BeautyFit on my gym bag and my BeautyFuel'd tank. She was curious so she checked it out. She said that I was an inspiration for her and she will be following me all the way to my finish line and beyond. She said she knew she could do it too even with a busy schedule. That was the FIRST time I have ever had someone come up to me like that. Pretty cool eh?!

It is all around me and it is awesome. My life is ever changing every day. I am getting stronger by the day physically and mentally. Am I tired though?? Heck yes I am! But, victory will be mine! I meant it when I said I wanted to be "that gurl" again. I also meant it when I said that I will not back down from this challenge. My motivation comes from within me. It also is staring me in my face when I look at my children.

So now on to the next week I go and let's just see where this one bring me.. At the end of this week we have a get together for all the BeautyFit Boot Camp Beauties Past and Present. It will be nice to see everyone again. My fear of shopping for the cute little dress comes in to play this week.... I will have my trusty Sam with me though to get me through the whole change room fears and tears. I will let you know how THAT goes...


Until next week I bid you adieu with sore leg muscles and triceps that are screaming at me some not so pretty names right now :)

A challenge you say?!?!

I have learned over the last 9 months not to back down from a challenge. How else will you learn what you are capable of if you don't push yourself to try. My first was The Warrior Dash which I survived and am so pumped to do it again. Now.... a 90 day challenge. My Trainer and very good friend Sandra Compton is sneaky by putting them to me. She says it and I go " hmph, why not right? " This one was no different. I had some pictures taken a couple years ago and I love them very much. They were my angelic sexy photos with my husband. I want to be that gurl again but a little darker and dirtier this time ( like in Flash dance but much darker ). So that is my goal. Not only will the end of this year bring me to the end of my personal year goal but having this little side road will be her whisper in my ear. I know I can do it. Look how far I have come already.

I decided that I wanted to lose 10 more pounds. So that is only 6 more beyond where I wanted to be by the end of the year. I just felt like I needed a little "cushion" or some bouncing room. Now I know that there are people that will say it is because it is my "what's next" and they're right too. Why stop. Today as I write this I feel great. I have days because of my current health issue where I sleep a LOT! Like 16 hours, so when I have my good days I bust it out and don't look back.

So with all this said I am having to adjust my training regime a bit. Beautyfit Bootcamp came to an end last Thursday night and it was bitter sweet for me. I have spent 9 months with some of these ladies and they have seen me through the good and the bad. They were there to support me from the first sit up to the last push up. While wiping my tears of sadness and my tears of joy, they have become a part of my extended family. I will miss them all. I have met new friends along the way as well that came in to my life a few months and even a few weeks ago. Each person that I have met has taught me something different about myself. Ponder this thought and embrace it. It will change your life if you let it...

Surround yourself with people whom you admire and allow you to aspire to be who you want to be... Accept nothing less than what you deserve

 I did a note after the last camp and I feel it right to tell you a few of the things that I learned these 8 weeks as well...

1. Push yourself harder each and every time and you will never be able to say you didn't try
2. Listen to your body!
3. Focus on yourself and how each and every movement feels.
and finally..
4. I ROCK AT LUNGE FOOTBALL!!
My NEW shirt truly defines my state of mind when it comes to my training these days .... so to that I say .. and WHAT?!?!

Mojo...

Taking some down time to heal yourself inside is so very important.... Taking care of YOU is more than just exercising and eating right.

These are some of the most powerful words that you will ever say to yourself. We all get to a point where our bodies say I am done! I have nothing left to give! This is not a bad thing. This is what happened to me and it was time to listen.

I have been so stressed out with so much home stuff and my health for way too long and my body just shut down. I spent 4 days in bed which ran over one of my BeautyFit Bootcamps. That was a tough message to send to Sandra saying that I would not be there that night but I knew that I needed to heal inside to be able to give my all once again. I don't like to give up but this one was different. It was not a physical exhaustion from goes "balls to the wall" for weeks on end. This was a mental exhaustion. Thank goodness I have a supportive husband and children when it comes to me being "down for the count". He spent 2 days in bed with me just watching tv and getting me what I needed so I didn't have to get up and my children actually got along. I have not been 100% for quite sometime but I deal with it. I go through my everyday and do what I can to make it through without ever complaining about it. I usually say, "I am OK" when people ask. I think that's a prerequisite of life when for most of us. 

We spend a lot of time trying to fix our "outside" but our "inside" is what drives us forward and keeps us going. So why do we neglect that so much? It is more than just be heart healthy and watching our cholesterol levels and caloric intake. But it is being mentally healthy and prepared to take on each and every day. Each of us deal with this differently and we think we are doing it the right way until one day we crash. 

I am doing much better now. The stresses are still there but I am more clear headed and able to focus. I am back on track with my eating and my gym time and I am ready to finish out this year strong. Wise words came from a little woman with a big voice. Take heed my friends and listen with an open mind and an open heart..

If you don't take of YOU how do you expect to take care of anyone else......