Ambition, Exhibition and Personal Training

Well I guess it's time for me to start journalizing this next step. I am a bag of mixed emotions but the one that I have full control over is fear. I am fully aware what I am afraid of... it is the unknown!.. LOL  Frankly there is nothing wrong with a little bit of fear. I am going to embrace each and every step of this process. It may be the one and only time I ever do this and I am good with that (for now). I am 2 weeks in with my personal trainer and he makes me sore because he works me like an Alaskan Husky running the Iditarod (and fully aware it is going to get much more intense!). He also makes me cuss a little.. ok a lot, but it is not directed at him. He doesn't yell but I am expecting it one day. Almost wanting him to, to get me to get angry. That's pretty sick eh?.. LOL

This is such a personal journey for me for a few different reasons..
1. I know I am mentally strong enough to do this. I have come so far AND overcome so many obstacles.. let's see how far I can be pushed now
2. I am physically capable of anything I put my mind to
3. I have never seen myself that fit before EVER. Maybe selfish but I want to be my husbands arm candy for ONCE in my life and feel inside like I am from the moment I slip my heels on.
4. I want my boys to be proud of me for starting something and finishing it. To show them that if they put their mind to something they can accomplish ANYTHING
5. Frankly I WANT to wear clear heels.. LOL (as my son calls them.. glass slippers)

These next 11 weeks are going to be insane! But not nearly as insane as doing cart wheels on the side of the I90 in New York on my way home from Florida 2 weeks ago. I swear I am not kidding!

I would also like to address one more thing here. I made a HUGE Financial obligation and personal commitment. I have also placed a WHOLE bunch of faith and trust in a total stranger. His name is Luke Curry. He is the man that makes me grunt, groan and sweat like a man in public. He is focused on me for 1 hour 3 times a week. He came highly recommended by my certain special someone (Sam). She understands that I have some trust issues and she felt confident enough in his abilities to place me in his hands for this transformation. I am comfortable with him. He took the time to get to know me and listen openly as to who I am. Also, He is just as excited as I am about this. The fact that we share the common goal of getting me on that stage in October in the best shape I can be is wonderful.

So here I sit a little bit sore with a belly full of healthy foods counting down to the next time I get to eat. So with peanut butter and egg white dreams I will be heading to the gym for my 2nd cardio of the day to earn each bite.

ps... I am down 5lbs already and I don't care if it is water weight or not... I am happy to see the numbers on the scale move in the right direction.