Friday, January 13, 2012

Ready or not... Here I come!!!

I have mentioned a few times before that I have Big BIG plans ahead for me for 2012. Well now it's time to let you know what's going on. I want to compete. October 2012 in Kitchener. http://www.physiqueassociation.ca/opaschedules To walk the stage in clear heels, spray tan and a really awesome bikini with my favourite person, Sandra Compton, right beside me the whole way. I am fully prepared to be judged by society, family and friends and frankly I say "BRING IT" because there is NOTHING that is going to stop me from doing this. I decided I wanted to do this June last year when I saw the Oxygen model search at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. I have enormous support already from the few people that know and I am ready mentally for this challenge. This is more than just a Bikini show off.. These competetitors are athletes beyond anything that you can imagine. The time and dedication and the mental focus that is required is beyond anything you can ever imagine. So please educate yourself before any judgemet is passed.... And to that I say WATCH ME FLY!!!!

Now, it is Jan 12, 2012 and as I sit here on my couch typing this out I have sooooo many things that I want to say. First and foremost BeautyFit Boot Camp has started a new session and my excitement is disgustingly overwhelming. I am back in my routine of normality and it feels sooooo good!! It was an extremely emotional night for us Beauties. Day 2 and tears are falling not out of pain but out of diving inside ourselves. Publicly displaying our weakness'. Openly letting each and everyone of us there know what we have already accomplished and what we yet want to. No judgement, just open hearts and overwhelming support. For me it was extremely emotional. This camp is my 1yr anniversary camp. 1 year ago I walked in a meek girl in a fat beat down body with zero self esteem and no direction in my life (So you can imagine what a blubbering fool I must have looked like tonight) I didn't even know how to skip rope.. LOL..let alone know how to spend the next 6 weeks, 1 hour at a time finding myself. 1 year later I am not that meek girl. I am a strong! Confident! Determined! Beautiful! Sexy! Down right freakin AWESOME WOMAN! I may still have some squishy on me but it is ALL me. I am proud of ME. I am proud of each and every woman that walks through that door 2 times a week each camp and says... I can do this. I have said it before in my blogs and I will reiterate it for the ones that are just now jumping in.... I leave it on the floor. Leave the bad day at home or work, the anger and frustration from words said to me or by me, the helpless feeling of things I can not change but are forced to deal with. I leave them on the floor in a puddle of sweat and tears. I am not alone in this. We ALL will go through it at one point or another in the next 6 weeks. And damn will it feel fantastic to release ( wait till kick boxing starts and that heavy bag is your Biotch.. LOL )

I'm going to end this by saying this... Don't let anyone stand in your way of what you want to accomplish. The biggest one being yourself. Fight for it. Dig deep down and yell at the top of your lungs I AM WORTH IT! Sandra said it tonight and she has every camp before.... We all have our own stories. We are the author of our mortal lives so write the best life you can live and surround yourself with people that HONESTLY support you and love you during your journey to a better you.

So ready or not World.... HERE I COME!! I have come a LONG LONG WAY and I am INVINCIBLE!!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

NO EXCUSES

I want to tell you a little story about a woman that in my mind is incredible. She made me angry when I was listening to her. Not because of her personal story but because reflection of all the status updates I read about how someone can't because they are sore or they have a medical condition that supposedly restricts them from doing activity. How they spew garbage about how they are "going to make changes" to get reaction from their FB friends. It is a bunch of crap and it needs to stop.... here is why!

This woman had a stroke while driving her car. She did such severe damage to her body that she will never be able to live a "normal" life again. That normal life that we get to wake up to everyday. Where we can put our own shoes on and run out the door in an instant, go to work yet complain that we are tired and our feet hurt from standing for a few hours, Get a migraine and let EVERYONE know that once again you got a ticket for the sympathy train and you need a hug. Seriously the list goes ON and ON!! Her normal life consists of huge doses of pain medication taken before she can even get out of bed, Her husband helping her get dressed because meds haven't numbed the pain enough for her to do it on her own. And only being able to wear slip on shoes because when she bends over to tie them she loses her balance and will pass out.

Ask me where I met her. Go Ahead! Ask me... Forget it I will tell you. She was at the gym on the treadmill walking. Walking and smiling and singing to herself to the music in her ears. When I saw her in the change room conversation ensued. I wanted to know her story and she was so happy to share it with me. She told me that she wakes up everyday knowing that she is lucky to be alive. Happy to be alive and won't let one minute pass where she doesn't appreciate the new lease on life that she got. She said she has nothing to complain about because nothing could be worse that what she went through already.

.... yep I cried when I got to my car. I cried for her. I cried for me. I cried for every person out there that wants to get up and move and can't because they physically are unable. And then I got angry for the people that are able to move freely that are pissing their life away complaining and making empty promises to themselves and to everyone else.

I am so glad that I met her. She is amazing beyond my years.

Take it for what you want but this was my morning.... Get up and move!!! Stop complaining, suck it up and MOVE!!!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Reflection Pool

As 2011 was coming to a final close I took the time during my last cardio session of the year to reflect on everything I had accomplished. I realized that I had come to terms with things that were making it even more difficult from getting to that final goal. And I also decided that what I want is far more important than dwelling on the things that I can not change. So a brief synopsis will follow in this, my last blog of the year.

I woke up this morning Dec 31st, after only a few hours sleep and met with Sandra. While there I also had the great pleasure of spending some quality conversation time with Jimmy Mentis. If you have never met this man you are truly missing out. He is a Plethera of USEFUL knowledge and a really funny man too. These 2 together are like a tag team in my life that know what and when to say things that I need to hear. They have both been vocal in different ways to me over this year. Jimmy is more the strong silent type but when he speaks I highly suggest you listen!! Sandra carries a bullhorn.... just sayin' :)  I am grateful for everything that they have done for me and that they have opened my eyes to experience this year. I do not ever take for granted the opportunities that have been given and blogging for BeautyFit is definately one of them.

I have an album full of pictures on my facebook profile entitled 2011... All about me 
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150374902765252.614176.902505251&type=1&l=0cb81ee8db  This is not all of them either. I have a full album on my Blackberry too of ones that I haven't posted. But it is an idea of how things went through the year for me.
 
So what have I accomplished you ask? I have posted most of them through out my blogs but here is the short list...
 
1. Stepping out of my comfort zone and starting BeautyFit BootCamp, completing every session till the end of the year and introducing many of my friends and family to why I love it so much. Opening their eyes to something new and awesome!
2. Quitting smoking after 23 years
3. Warrior Dash !!!! 5km of mud and obstacles and running with my mentor and trainer encouraging me the whole way with my husband supporting us and waiting for us with open arms and a big smile at the finish line for us.
4. Not taking the easy way out walking the flat path and deciding to hike up the side of the mountain and loving every minute of it.
5. 5km Run for the Cure in October with the BeautyFit Beauties.
6. Found my happy place in my job by changing it and finding peace, joy and laughter in every shift
7. Realizing that there are so many things out there that I want to do and my "Happy List" keeps growing and growing.. ( Read my next blog for what I will be striking off that list for 2012 )
8. Embracing change and allowing myself to welcome new and different
..... The list is long and plenty I could again go on for EVER!!.. LOL
 
I also want to put in here a few things that I emotionally struggled with. I am only human and we all have things that happen in our lives that throw us off our game.
 
My grandmother had an aeortal dissection in May and eventually passed from complications a few months later. My sister, her husband and my nephews moved to Ft. Mac Alberta. It is very far away and I miss them very much. Thank goodness for technology. On my wedding anniversary I was diagnosed with a blood clot in my head. I have spent months since then on blood thinning injections and pills and medication to subdue and supress the pains in my head. These have made it so that I could not reach that final goal I wanted this year but ... I'm over it ( as my son always says ). 
 
I do not have ANY regrets this year. I have overcome so much and I am ready to embrace the next year and the challenges that will come. I am ready for Bootcamp to start Jan 10th. It will be nice to be back into a routine and to also have the Beauties there to push me and vice versa. I have big plans for 2012.. BIG BIG PLANS!!!
 
So I leave you with this.... As we say goodbye to 2011 go forward into 2012 with this thought .... Your internal conversations determine the outcome of your mood desire and drive..... Happy New Year!!!
 

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Achieving Greatness

Ok so the old saying goes if it ain't broke don't fix it which would therefore mean Ignorance is bliss. Right? Well no! Not really. It just means that some people love to make the excuses to justify those 2 statements. The year is almost over and I have learned so many things in the last 347 days. Not only about myself but about the people that I surrounded myself with then and whom I choose to now. So before I head in to 2012 with my new journey I would just like to share some of my old thoughts that are now modified with the new ones. Grab a pen and paper and do your own list. I bet you have more than you thought.

Old vs. New

1. I can just eat till the pain goes away
>>> Food will never take away the pain. There is always a deeper reason as to why I turned to the Doritos.

2. They are my family and my friends. They will always tell me the truth
>>> Truth is they were the ones that lied to me first by skirting around the subject so as to not "hurt my feelings". Take everything at face value and process it clearly to decide how to proceed. I choose who I want in my life. I will define me, they will not. They will not hold me back from where I want to go.

3. Change scared the crap out of me!!
>>> Bring it on! I am ready for new changes in my life. I know that when I put my mind to it I can accomplish anything in front of me. Remember the Warrior Dash in June?? Ya.. scared the crap out of me.

4. Going because we were invited to events was almost an obligation out of guilt
>>> I would rather not be invited at all to something than to be invited as a last pick. I am NO ONES second choice.

5. I can't because I am not able.
>>> I can because I am willing. I can because I want to. I can because I say so and I'm gonna prove you wrong. ( ps it has been 6 months and 2 days that I have quit smoking. So to those people that didn't think I could do it I say.. and WHAT?!?!?! )

6. Change rooms are just public cublicles to cry in when you have to try on clothes.
>>> Stepped out of my comfort zone and wore form fitted dresses with not a care in the world. Bring the one woman in your life that you trust and respect the most for her honesty. Grab coffee and have fun trying stuff on.

7. Some of my closest friends walked away. What did I do?
>>> I decided to change my life direction which changed my physical appearance. I no longer fit in to the mold that they wanted for me. Sad yes, but I have learned it is reality and there is no going back.

8. I have a gym membership.
>>> I am a member of a group of people dedicated to changing their lives and achieving greatness in it. I am noticed because I actually feel like I belong and am welcomed in with open arms. I am achieving greatness in my life which I am passing on to my children, new friends and to people that I have not yet met.


I really could on and on with this list but you get the idea. It was all about first changing my thought process, taking a leap of faith and putting my complete faith in one person to lead me to where she knew I could be. I have battled many obstacles this year with my health but at no point did I say I quit or I give up. What I did do is keep on going and found a new way to achieve my goals. It may have taken me a little bit longer to do it but I did it.

2012 is just 16 days away and that brings a whole new chapter in my life. I am so very excited to fill you in when the time comes. I have enough confidence in myself to say that I AM going to do it.....Not IF but WHEN.

So be ready to join me next year and follow along with my journey....!! With visions of clear heels dancing in my head I say Happy Dreamtime and to all a good night. ( I never said I was a great poet.. LOL )

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Movin Movin Mooooovin!!

Winter is finally here. Well weather wise anyway, so what does that mean? It means that we get to spend the next 5 months inside trying to stay warm. And for some of us that means that we get a new winter coat... or rather a new layer of winter pudge. This doesn't have to happen though. There are so many options available out there now that really we barely even have to leave the house. Frankly I don't like being cooped up all winter so I actually enjoy the social time at the gym. The gym is not always an option though if you can't afford the membership fees.... BUT.... How many of you have a home gaming system? Like a Wii or a PS3 or an XBox? All 3 of these systems now have interactive games available so that you aren't just sitting there with a remote in hand. You are up dancing and jumping and swinging your limbs around.

Last year we got the Kinect system for our XBox. Well let me tell you how much fun that was and still is. I have almost mastered Poker Face on the easy version.. LOL.. Not only did we dance but we were sweating and muscles were sore too. We also laughed A LOT which is heart healthy! The benefits totally out weighed the cons ( cons being you look like a fool dancing and jumping around in your living room trying not to pee yourself ). We also get to spend some quality time with the kids. Who doesn't want that? Busy schedules for everyone and passing each other in hallways just stinks! ... ooohhhh and let's not forget the friendly competition that emerges rather quickly! No one wants to lose. I know I don't!!.. LOL

 I have been watching the commercials and I also did some in store research and they have come out with so many new ones over the last year. Here are just a few http://www.xbox.com/en-US/Kinect/Games
With the Christmas season approaching these are great gifts to think about giving or asking for yourself. But really who has the time or the money to go out this month?! Sooooo, why not have a BeautyFit girls night in. Invite your gal pals over, make up some healthy snacks and laugh and chit chat while dancing together. You can even do it in your jammies ( and we all know how I feel about flannel **LOVE**). Rub on the BeautyBum, Take your BeautyFuel and see how many calories you burn that night. Before they know what hit them you will have already mastered a song or 2 :)

Remember.. all you have to do is move. Just get up and move and keep moving and before you know it, it will become second nature and you won't want to sit around anymore. You will reach out and find new and more fantastic things to do next time.

Here are just a few ideas...
1. Indoor rock climbing
2. Hot or regular Yoga
3. Indoor BeachVolley Ball
4. Pole dancing... here in my town there is a great studio that offers it http://www.impactmovement.ca/
5. Kick Boxing
and last but NEVER least!!!....
6. BeautyFit Bootcamp which starts up again Jan 10th.... all the information is listed here ( https://www.beautyfit.com/bootcamp.html )

What are you waiting for? Go! Move!

See you on the dance floor :)

Monday, November 14, 2011

Fear Factor.. More than just a TV show

I sit here at my kitchen table still in my sweaty gym clothes as I am typing this out. Tonight many things are running through my mind. One of them is, Where has this year gone??? I have had lots of things going on so I guess I just was oblivious to the date. Today for me has been a time of retrospect over the year. I have become so numb to how others make ME feel through this whole process, but what I did think over the last few days was .. How do I make THEM feel? I said when I started all this that I would not back down. I will not fail! I refuse to allow myself to fail! And it was brought to my attention a long time ago that I have put myself out here to all of you and that alone is confidence enough right?!?! No one wants to fail to people they know or don't know in the end.

So why am I talking about failure? Because it is reality! We all have thoughts that we are going to at some point. Mine is right now. Maybe because it is fear that the end of the year is only 47 days away and that is the end of my year. I am scared. I'm not gonna lie. I am scared of making it to the end of all of this and not hitting the goal I wanted. I am scared of failing people that have put so much faith and trust in me. That have given me an opportunity of a lifetime here. I am scared of failing me.

Let me be very clear though about this... I still have 46 days and 20 minutes left to prove that I can complete something. Left to prove that no matter what emotional struggle I am dealing with I can make it through. To prove that tears are just sweaty eyes. To not only prove to myself but to everyone around me that says that they believe in me that I am worth their faith.

I told you in the very beginning that I am just a normal everyday woman here. I cry like all of you and I laugh no one!! I know for a fact that some of you have had self doubt moments in the last 6 months because I have received emails about it. So I just wanted to share mine.....

46 days 11 minutes... This is more than just a blog about my year... THIS is my LIFE!!!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Growing Pains

I am 37 and I am still getting them but in a WHOLE different way. This time I am growing stronger mentally and physically and yes sometimes it is pretty painful. But in a good way.. LOL...
Alt Laterals with Dumbbells.. Ya they hurt

My wonderful 17 yr old son also trains like a champ and he pushes me just like Sandra does. He tells me to shut up and do it. He tells me YES YOU CAN Mom. He will not let me quit, even as much as I want to when I think that the bar is going to fall on my face and smash me in to little pieces. Having a teenager and trying to find things to do together that you both enjoy can be tricky. I found what works and it is the gym. He high 5's me when I complete something and is proud to call me mom. ( and he even ... AND What's me when appropriate ). We are both learning, growing, laughing and crying in pain together. But to be honest there really is nothing better than having someone spot you that understands what you are going through. What you are feeling and just exactly how much you want to punch them in the throat if they tell you.. one more!

My SONshine... we are growing together  



I really didn't have any pivotal or major thought provoking moments in the last week. But what I did have is a special "MOM" moment. In all of this life change I am still a mom. I am still a friend. I am still a wife. It doesn't matter how much weight or how many inches I lose because in the end I am still me. I am the one that ugly cries when I am sick, frustrated, tired or sad. I am also the one that will hold your hand when you need it, Laugh and cry with you and also support you in your journey.

We all have growing pains. Have you found out what yours are? Mine are meaningful moments that will forever make me who I am.